What's Your Obsession?

[Coír Draoi Ceítien]

Now I know that this topic may be dealing with rather unhealthy matters, and I don't mean to pry too deeply into private affairs, but I'm curious if anyone here has ever struggled with an obsession before. Have you ever been so drawn into something that it occupies most, if not all, of your focus? Have you ever had something that you can't really let go of without serious effort, even if it's terribly hard?

Normally, I would probably excuse myself from the topic, as I often have little personal opinions on the matter and am more curious about others' thoughts, but if you've picked up anything from me on this forum, you probably know that I've had quite a few obsessions in my life. Chalk it up to Asperger's, but when I find something I like, I can't help but put a significant amount of energy into it, and it often leads to unhealthy places. It's probably one of the chief sources of anxiety for myself - I have a history of anxiety episodes, for those who don't know, and it's been one of my most serious goals to cope with it or counter it. At the moment, I would say that everything's under control, but you never know when (or if) I could relapse.

Now, the good news is that a lot of my obsessions have fallen by the wayside, due to a deliberate effort to cut certain things out of my life. Unfortunately (depending how you look at it), that means getting rid of a lot of my interests and, in a sense, discarding the "best" parts of me. But I'm someone who goes all in or not at all, so it's inevitable. This means that I'm not as sociable or willing to converse as I once was about various subjects (which wasn't a lot to begin with), but I feel it's a necessary trade-off for my own mental health.

Video games used to dominate my life, as well as television (particularly cartoons and anime); then, I moved on to music, and now, if you haven't guessed by my ceaseless topics on the matter, I would say that my current obsession is books. I guess I'm sort of making up for lost time, and I wouldn't say it's gotten to unhealthy levels - I'm deliberately trying to manage it - but it's got to be my chief interest right now. everything else has either cooled considerably or I've given it up for one reason or another.

Again, I'd like to reiterate that I don't mean to get too personal, especially with those users who I don't really know too well or are just starting out here, so you don't have to reply if you don't feel comfortable doing so. I wouldn't want to call anyone's mental health into question. I'm operating under the assumption that we all get obsessed some time in our life, but I could be wrong.

[Raven]

Probably the easiest for me to talk about is video games. I become obsessive with video games. I like to play them and I also like to make them. I could easily sink 12 hours in and still be hungry for more time. I was not able to regulate my play and working on game creation. I have attempted to restart with moderation a few times, but I am not able to be moderate when it comes to those imaginative worlds that I find so engaging that it sucks the life out of everything else and tends to lead to anxiety and depression. In college my roommates could tell if I was really stressed out or had a lot of work to do -- I played even more video games. In grad school I quit entirely playing and creating game worlds because I decided that wasn't what I wanted my life to be about. I've "relapsed" a few times, but now I only play video games if I'm visiting my brother and sister-in-law's place, where I play games with my brother-in-law and maybe some by myself. But they live a number of hours away and this is not frequent.

[Coír Draoi Ceítien]

I don't know what happened with me and video games - it just seems to have tapered off naturally. But I remember that I was once devoted to them. The Super NES was my first system, and I was completely hooked on it; my Dad may have had a part in it, since he would always invite me along to be a "co-pilot" whenever he played, but I don't mean that as an insult against him. I remember getting issues of Nintendo Power on a regular basis and reading them constantly; I was just so engrossed in the video game world. I measured each day by when I would be able to play it; when I had to walk away from it, I got physically upset. When I got my cousin's NES and a PS2 (on separate occasions), it opened up an even bigger world for me, with new wonders...and new addictions. Some of it had adverse effects on my schooling - when I went to New Life Christian Academy for 9-12 grade, it took a serious toll on my concentration, and I wasn't able to get the full experience I should have (there were other factors, but this one was on me). I can honestly say that, in addition to an obsession, it really was an addiction.

I guess that when games started to become rather expensive and I wanted to be somewhat frugal with my cash, I turned to books, and eventually, my interest turned completely around. I don't know what's stopping me now, but I'm not so eager to turn on a video game anymore. I'm still interested, just not to the same obsessive extent. Still, I'm game for certain series and genres anytime, and I still want to build up a significant collection, as I'm rather fond of old systems.

[Raven]

Lately, I've been feeling kind of obsessive over our new house/property. There's a lot of things I want to get done and I've been putting in long hours (building a fence, clearing brush, etc). Hopefully the drive will diminish -- especially as I'm expecting a new baby to be born at any time and even dads experience some "nesting" drive, though perhaps in a different way.